My Friend, Long Time No See

This episode explores how peer pressure shapes lives from childhood through old age — from classroom rankings and parental comparisons to the social expectations of adulthood. The host shares personal experiences of feeling pressured, how self-awareness developed around age 20, and why knowing what you truly want helps dissolve comparison-driven anxiety.
The episode encourages listeners to discover their genuine passions early, resist following the crowd, and make choices based on personal values rather than external expectations. Practical reflections include how family support (or lack thereof) affects exploration, and why internal pressure from one’s former self can be especially damaging.

If in the future, all food—even gourmet meals—were free and instantly available, wouldn’t we all end up overweight?
Well, that future has already arrived—just not with food, but with information.
Our minds feel bloated, our brains have gotten lazy. We consume constantly, but rarely digest.
Imagination fades. Creativity stalls.
We just repeat the “right” things others have said, and our thoughts lose the freedom to be wrong in our own way.
Short videos are the fast food.
Classics are the five-star meals.
Breaking news has the shelf life of milk.
Reality shows? They’re like chips—endless, salty, and hard to stop munching on.
But if it all leads to mental obesity…
does it even matter what we’re consuming?
[00:00:06] – The Core Idea: Spiritual Overweight
[00:00:17] – The Analogy: Food Consumption
[00:03:29] – Information Overload
[00:05:00] – The Consequences: Mental Bloat
[00:06:51] – The Solution: A Mental Diet
[00:08:40] – Actionable Task
Personal Blog: https://xing-j.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrYQCB9OBbW43V170uw-VTQ
Patreon: https://patreon.com/xingj

Hey friends, in this episode I talked about something that’s been on my mind a lot lately—desire. Why do we always want more? Whether it’s craving knowledge, chasing trends, obsessing over food, or just wanting to feel seen and loved, these desires shape so much of who we are. I also explored how influencers, money, even love, all reflect the things we long for deep down. It’s a bit of rambling, a bit of thinking out loud—but all from the heart. Hope it resonates with you somehow.
00:00:00 The Pleasure of Destruction: Symbolic Violence in Online Debates
00:03:30 Desire Adapts: From Primal Urges to Social Conformity
00:05:29 Violence as Entertainment: A Legacy of Human Nature
00:08:00 The Craving to Be Seen: Attention and the Digital Age
00:15:28 Influencers as Mirrors of Collective Desire
00:21:30 Love and Money: The Ultimate Bundles of Human Longing
Personal Blog: https://xing-j.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrYQCB9OBbW43V170uw-VTQ
Patreon: https://patreon.com/xingj

Hey everyone! Ever wonder what truly makes a friendship last? After a recent holiday binge-watch of "Billions," I found myself deep in thought, not about high finance, but about the bonds between people. In this episode, I'm sharing my personal reflections on why shared hardships, more than just happy times, might be the secret ingredient to building truly deep and resilient connections, not just with friends, but with family and loved ones too. Join me as I explore why embracing challenges together can forge the most meaningful relationships and how I'm trying to disconnect from the digital world to find more authentic connections in my own life.
00:00:00 Intro & Holiday Break
00:01:36  My "Billions" Experience
00:03:13  The Real Takeaway: Friendship
00:04:38  Rethinking Friendship
00:06:55  My Fading Connection
00:10:30  A New Approach to Friendship
00:13:06  The Risks and Rewards of Shared Hardship
00:14:02  The Need for Deeper Connections
00:15:55  Reflections on Marriage and Modern Life
00:17:24  What l've Learned About Friendship
00:20:27  The Role of Colleagues in Friendship
00:23:10  My Ideal Friend: Smart and Kind
00:29:31 The Elusive Nature of Friendship
00:34:33 A Slower Pace
00:37:12 Wrapping Up and Looking Ahead
Personal Blog: https://xing-j.com/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrYQCB9OBbW43V170uw-VTQ
Patreon: https://patreon.com/xingj

这期轻松一点。这是半个月之前在韩国江陵市的海边边走边录的一期。看到什么、想到什么就随口说了。希望我们都轻松一点生活吧。

这可能是我做播客以来自己比较满意的一期，讲了回国的一些观察和感受，关于自然、人物、购物等，希望你能喜欢。00:00 Intro1:30 爸妈接机6:28 外面吃饭的一些观察11:11 观察国企14:37 公交车上的一些观察21:55 北京街道的秋天不见了24:39 和朋友见面26:59 被网购折磨30:40 一些小人物的呐喊（付航、新裤子、长安的荔枝、我在北京送快递）

方大同《回留》

我已经工作了两年多了。工作也如这世界上的很多东西一样，只有在你真正拥有后才有可能真正了解到它是怎么一回事。如果你还没有工作，你正在深陷困扰吗？如果你已经工作了，你对你的工作有着怎样的情感呢？你如何看待你当前的工作的呢？0:00 Intro：最近公司小组裁员1:44：公司招人更看重的是性价比而非能力5:59：目前所有人的性价比都在降低，不必自我否定10:26：新人的唯一优势在于性价比高，这很关键12:26：评估自己的性价比，主动议价或控制自己的产出16:19：找工作是劳资双方平等的谈判，没有高低18:52：我定义的有效人生：没有疾病、可供自己支配21:10：我们工作花费的时间是“有效人生的百分比”28:52：找到热爱才能真正破局

你是一个享受独处的人吗？还是你无法和自己相处太久，因为会孤独难耐？我曾经孤独过，但回想起来，那是我人生中感受最丰富的时期，我能看到天色，我能听到风雨，我能看到隐藏的痛苦，我会触摸每个生灵。孤独的时光让我与世界心贴心地接触，一切都迟落的摆放在眼前，没有任何遮挡与隔阂。想来，那时一段很享受的时光……00:00 Intro: 周末去采摘、踏秋02:54 孤独让隐藏在生活背后的感受浮现出来10:50 孤独的时光让我创作了很多东西14:03 不再孤独也失去了很多自己的时间18:20 Outro: 听听这个世界

你上次真正快乐是什么时候呢？我会笑，会也兴奋，可纯粹的快乐是在什么时候呢？我翻阅记忆，竟一朝回到了十几年前，好像那时的我才拥有纯粹的快乐，而我已经很久没有发自内心的快乐过了。有趣的是，当时的我甚至不知道什么是快乐，可我却正拥有着它……00:00 上次快乐是什么时候？00:37 操场上奔跑04:43 菜市场打台球、打篮球12:31 纯粹的快乐只有纯粹的人才能拥有14:33 快乐很难解释16:18 为什么感觉不到快乐了21:23 我们常常拥有我们并不认识的东西23:20 我们渐渐追求复杂的事物24:21 去跟孩子学习如何快乐