My Friend, Long Time No See

Hello, long time no see. In this episode, I want to talk about the gaokao, China's college entrance exam. It's a topic that kind of gives away my age.
It's been exactly ten years since I took the gaokao in 2016. A few days ago, my high school homeroom teacher posted a survey in the group chat to find out where everyone ended up. There was also an invitation for alumni to come back to campus for a get-together. I was the class monitor back then, but I didn't pass the invitation along, and I didn't fill out the survey. A lot of people feel nostalgic about high school and college, but I just don't seem to have that kind of attachment to my old schools. Looking back on these ten years, I realize I'm a lot like Cheng Cai from the Chinese TV drama Soldiers Sortie. I'm always on the move, with my eyes locked on the next goal in the distance. Right after the gaokao, I was already researching driving schools. In college in Shanghai, I was grinding my GPA and hunting for internships. Later, I threw myself into job hunting in the US. I got used to racing ahead by the book, one step after another. I rarely looked at the road beneath my feet, and I hardly kept any fellow travelers along the way.
After all that running, I've ended up in a vacuum between China and the U.S., both in culture and in my relationships. The longer I stay here, the more I want to watch the actual people by the side of the road and feel their small, real joys and sorrows. Over the next ten years, I hope to slow down a little, give more of my attention to the people around me, and move forward together with real feeling.
How do you feel about the gaokao, and about the years since you graduated? Are you on a Cheng Cai kind of path too? Have you ever regretted the choices you made back then? I'd love to hear your story.
Talk to my digital twin: https://xchat.xing-j.com/
My website: https://xing-j.com/
This English edition was translated from my original Chinese episode with the help of AI, and is read by an AI clone of my own voice. I review every script before it goes out.

I just got off work with a few stray thoughts rattling around in my head, so I figured I'd turn on the mic and chat with you. There's no set topic this time. We start with what a raise actually feels like when you're working a regular job, and end up with my aunt, school-day crushes, and even a pair of pajama pants full of holes that I wore for ten years.
But when I pieced these unrelated fragments of memory together, I seemed to brush up against a slightly cruel truth: behind what we call “feelings” and “love,” the real currency is our attention. When we pour our attention into something, are we loving that person or thing, or are we loving the self who poured our soul into it? I don't have a definitive conclusion this time. I'm hoping to borrow a little of your precious attention so we can think it through together.
- 00:00 – 08:08 | A Raise Won't Change Your Life, So What's Really Running It? Working a job means trading time and energy for money, but I've gradually found that past a certain point, more money barely changes my life. If money and time don't carry that much weight, what actually decides a person's value? I think it's the attention we hand over to all kinds of video apps every day, for free. Attention is equity, and giving it away for nothing is a losing deal, plain and simple.- 08:08 – 16:24 | The Person Who Tormented You Is Gone, So Why Are You Crying? A story about my aunt and my grandma. My grandma was hot-tempered and incredibly cheap, and she put my aunt through it for most of her life, even making her go wash clothes by hand in the river. But when my grandma actually passed away, my aunt sank into deep grief for half a year. It seems to break the logic of fair exchange: why do we end up with such deep feelings for the very people who wear us down?- 16:24 – 24:50 | A School-Day Crush and Pajama Pants I Couldn't Throw Out. Remember the person you were completely obsessed with back in school? I'll also share one of my quirks: a pair of pajama pants full of holes that I'd worn for almost ten years. When the moment came to throw them out, I just couldn't let them go. It's really the same thing. Those pants had long stopped being just pants. They carried the cities I'd been to, the places I'd seen, and ten years of my memories.- 24:50 – 41:36 | The Cruel Truth: What We Love Is the Self That Gave the Attention. Whether it's the bond I've built walking my dog every day, what parents give to their families, or modern couples breaking up because one side gave far more early on, a lot of the time, wherever we put our attention, that's where we put our soul. You think you love that person or that thing, but what you really love is the self who threw itself into it completely, gave without asking for anything back, and poured in all that time and attention.- 41:36 – 45:37 | A Question I'm Leaving with You: Can We Love Someone Purely? This is the first time since I started this podcast that I haven't ended with an answer of my own. If feelings are really just our own attention projected outward, then once you strip away the layer of being moved by our own devotion, is it still possible to love another person purely, with nothing else mixed in? Thank you for giving me your attention right to the last second. If you have an answer, I'd love to hear your story.
Talk to my digital twin: https://xchat.xing-j.com/
My website: https://xing-j.com/
This English edition was translated from my original Chinese episode with the help of AI, and is read by an AI clone of my own voice. I review every script before it goes out.

This episode might sound a bit scattered. It goes from a David Tao concert to Brazilian jiu-jitsu, from Web3 to Charlie Munger's value investing, and even covers getting a cyst removed. But if you listen to the end, you'll find it's all about the same thing: in an age ruled by AI and algorithms, how does an ordinary person build their own moat, and how do we actually touch the real world?
[00:00 – 07:22] David Tao's Concert and the Audience's Responsibility
- What happened: At the end of November I saw David Tao's tour in New York, and I managed to talk with him in person for a moment.- What I took from it: I let go of the 'I'm the customer' mindset and realized the audience has a responsibility too: to give the singer some energy back. So instead of being my usual calm self, I let loose, jumping and cheering. It wasn't just feedback for the singer. It was also a physical release of feelings I'd been holding down.
[07:22 – 17:24] Exploring Web3: Using Decentralization to Outlast Time
- What happened: During my December break I dug deep into Web3 and started moving some of my content there.- What I took from it: Beneath all the speculating on crypto, Web3 has a romantic idea at its core: decentralization, and the ability to outlast time. On Web2 platforms, like video sites or an old social network we used as kids, everything you've built can vanish when the platform shuts down or your account gets banned. Web3 runs on cryptography, almost like a law of physics, and no central power can take a cut or censor you. To me, it may be the best way for an ordinary person to leave a lasting digital headstone and prove they existed.
[17:24 – 29:25] Resetting My Body: Jiu-Jitsu's Philosophy of Conflict, and Seeing Doctors in America
- What happened: In January I started Brazilian jiu-jitsu. I ended up with inflamed ribs and a shoulder injury, navigated the American healthcare system for the first time, and finally had a ganglion cyst on the back of my hand removed after ten years.- What I took from it: 2026 is my year of fixing my body's parts. At the jiu-jitsu gym I learned a counterintuitive lesson about people: don't be afraid of conflict. Grappling, and having someone throw problems at you with their body, can close the distance between two people fast. It's more real than a false harmony where everyone stays polite and on their best behavior.
[29:25 – 37:37] Breaking My Internet Habit: Beating Virtual Temptation with the Physical World
- What happened: I bought a really nice notebook and fountain pen and started keeping a handwritten journal. I also dropped online courses and found an in-person guitar teacher.- What I took from it: Willpower alone won't get you off the internet. You have to fight fire with fire by making the physical world richer and more engaging. My journal became my anchor, my way of confirming I actually lived each day. And in-person guitar lessons showed me the charm of a free-form way of teaching music, and how irreplaceable real, face-to-face interaction is.
[37:37 – 42:16] Where Investing Leads: Running Yourself Like a Company
- What happened: I used AI to write the code for a quantitative stock-picking model, building on my earlier thinking about Charlie Munger and value investing, and I stayed out of the crowded AI trade.- What I took from it: I've let go of short-term trading and of crowding in where everyone else is, and settled on buying and holding for the long term. More importantly, I applied the same framework to myself: run yourself like a company, and invest in your health, your skills (English, guitar) and quality output (Web3, my journal). Those are the assets with real long-term compounding.
[42:16 – 50:46] The Philosophy of Subtracting, and a Personal Moat in the AI Era
- What happened: I cut way back on my time online and took back the controlling stake in my own attention.- What I took from it: Subtracting is a kind of adding. Cut out the noise of the internet and time naturally opens up. Your attention is your company's shares, and if the algorithm takes 51%, you lose control of yourself. In the AI era, cheap collective consensus, the 'correct' views everyone agrees on, is worth very little. The real moat is digging deep into one field, thinking for yourself, and creating the live presence and genuine emotion that AI can't replace.
[50:46 – 55:16] Tuning Out the Noise of the Living, Learning from the Dead
- What happened: I've stopped reading comment sections and following big online influencers, and I'm turning to biographies instead.- What I took from it: Losing money with real money on the line woke me up. Most opinions online are just venting or mediocre repetition. I've accepted that my understanding has moved past most people's, so I'm no longer lowering myself to seek their approval. Like Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger, I'd rather spend my time with the great minds of the past and learn from the dead.
Talk to my digital twin: https://xchat.xing-j.com/
My website: https://xing-j.com/
This English edition was translated from my original Chinese episode with the help of AI, and is read by an AI clone of my own voice. I review every script before it goes out.

This episode gets pretty hardcore. It goes from national debt all the way to a future society shaped by AI, and it runs almost two hours. If that feels like too much, you can head over to my blog and read the text version with all the key points.
0:00 The AI bubble got me thinking8:38 The debt-driven growth model has hit a dead end36:03 Could we just not develop AI?45:54 How to understand AI57:07 Which jobs will AI replace?1:08:40 Which companies will AI replace, or empower?1:18:21 How AI will change the global landscape1:26:22 How individuals can survive in the future
YouTube (video version, in Chinese): https://youtu.be/_17VQh5aAgY
Talk to my digital twin: https://xchat.xing-j.com/
My website: https://xing-j.com/
This English edition was translated from my original Chinese episode with the help of AI, and is read by an AI clone of my own voice. I review every script before it goes out.

At the start of every episode, I say “Long time no see,” but you've never actually seen me. Lately, a string of chance events in my life made me realize how much seeing each other face to face matters for building a relationship and letting it grow warmer. Especially these days, when even a phone call or a voice message can come across as “intrusive,” we need to step out from behind our screens and actually meet people in real life. So this time I tried something new:
This also happens to be the 50th episode of my podcast, so I recorded it as a video. I think this is the first time we've seen each other. Thank you for being willing to listen to me ramble.
Bilibili: https://www.bilibili.com/video/BV1G9WkzSEa1/
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MTBFOhDOkCw
Talk to my digital twin: https://xchat.xing-j.com/
My website: https://xing-j.com/
This English edition was translated from my original Chinese episode with the help of AI, and is read by an AI clone of my own voice. I review every script before it goes out.

I wonder if you're dealing with peer pressure right now, whether you feel envious or anxious when you see what people your age have, or how far along they are in life. This pressure keeps pushing us forward at every stage of life. But is that "forward" really where you want to go…
(00:02:18) Peer pressure runs through every stage of life
(00:13:38) In school, peer pressure was my main motivation to study
(00:20:41) Self-awareness, woken up through pain, helped me break free of peer pressure
(00:26:07) Traditional measures of success no longer put pressure on me
(00:30:04) Raising myself all over again: taking care of the little me inside who's exploring what I truly love
Talk to my digital twin: https://xchat.xing-j.com/
My website: https://xing-j.com/
This English edition was translated from my original Chinese episode with the help of AI, and is read by an AI clone of my own voice. I review every script before it goes out.

If someday in the future all food, even gourmet delicacies, were free and always right at our fingertips, would we all end up obese?
When it comes to information, that future is already here. Our minds have grown heavy and sluggish, and our brains have gotten lazy. We only take in; we never burn anything off. No more wild flights of imagination, no more creativity of any kind. We say the “right” things other people have already said, and our thoughts are no longer our own “wrong” thoughts.
Short videos are the fast food, the classics are the gourmet delicacies, the news has a short shelf life, and variety shows are like sunflower seeds and snacks. If it all leaves us mentally obese, what difference does it make what we eat?
Talk to my digital twin: https://xchat.xing-j.com/
My website: https://xing-j.com/
This English edition was translated from my original Chinese episode with the help of AI, and is read by an AI clone of my own voice. I review every script before it goes out.

00:00 Intro: Watching Luo Yonghao, I Realized I Was Really Watching Violence
2:54 What We Watch Reflects the Desires Behind It
4:40 Lust (Star Courtesans, Japanese Adult-Film Actresses)
6:50 Entertainment
7:43 Violence (the Colosseum, School Bullying, Competitive Sports)
13:08 Being Seen (Rebellious Kids, Online Comments, Strange Old People)
18:01 Curiosity
20:18 Appetite
22:05 Desires Written into Our DNA Are Stronger Than the Ones We Pick Up Later
23:23 Influencers Are a Collection of the Public's Desires
25:35 Influencers Are a Product with Real Value
27:19 Superheroes Are Desires Stacked Together
29:08 Language and Religion Are Influencers Too
30:49 Papi Jiang's Remarkable Ability to Sense the Public's Desires and Make Them Tangible
32:06 Money and Love Are Collections of All Kinds of Desires
Talk to my digital twin: https://xchat.xing-j.com/
My website: https://xing-j.com/
This English edition was translated from my original Chinese episode with the help of AI, and is read by an AI clone of my own voice. I review every script before it goes out.

Happy Chinese New Year a little early! Wishing you all the best in the Year of the Snake!
I recently got a dog. He can't understand a word I say, but he can still form a real bond with me.
I also watched a show and realized that a bond doesn't actually need conversation. Go through some hardship together, and the bond just comes on its own.
I'd love to hear your story.
Talk to my digital twin: https://xchat.xing-j.com/
My website: https://xing-j.com/
This English edition was translated from my original Chinese episode with the help of AI, and is read by an AI clone of my own voice. I review every script before it goes out.

This one's a little lighter.
I recorded it about two weeks ago, on the beach in Gangneung, South Korea, talking as I walked. Whatever I saw, whatever came to mind, I just said it. I hope we can all live a little more lightly.
Talk to my digital twin: https://xchat.xing-j.com/
My website: https://xing-j.com/
This English edition was translated from my original Chinese episode with the help of AI, and is read by an AI clone of my own voice. I review every script before it goes out.